Hoping to wow a non-cyclist with tales of your riding prowess? Don’t bother, says the Doc, they will not be impressed
Horses. Not only do they cheat their way into our lasagnas and lay steaming hazards on our roads; they dodge taxes and rob donkeys too - according to the Doc
Cycling often hurts, but it isn't physical, reckon scientists, and the Doc agrees: it's a sensation doled out by a guv'nor of grimacing in our heads
It's not fair, ventures the doc, that seamen have their own bespoke weather forecast while we cyclist have to make do with Tomasz Schafernaker's vague prognostications
When it comes to cycle safety provision one local council thought of everything a cyclist might need, reports the Doc. Then they did the opposite
The doc lays bare his bafflement at how everyone else's bikes are so uncomfortably, inanely and, above all, incorrectly set up
The doc is anticipated Oscar-winning performances all round when Lance went head-to-head with Oprah
You really shouldn’t try to teach your grandmother to suck eggs, nor your father to clean bicycles — or you’ll find yourself stumped when it comes to Christmas gift ideas…
The god of mud is displeased - which means that the Doc must sacraficed yet another virgin tubeless tyre...
You've reached the UCI Anti Doping Hotline. While you're waiting for our next available operator, please enjoy this panpipes rendition of The Verve's ‘Drugs don't work'. Hold please...
Thinking about cycling all the time shouldn't make you feel like nerd, says the Doc - at one time it was an essential elemet of training
We must thank the random lunatics who hate cyclists - without them we would all be living in one giant hippy nudist colony
Now that everyone's a proper cyclist, how can you be a Lycra'd lone wolf? Wonders the Doc
As the off-season begins, the Doc breaks open the ampoules of Dairy milk he's been stashing in the back of his fridge
The Doc envisions a future where the bunch glides down an Alpine decent in pedal-powered aeroplanes..
Ah, hindsight. It's a completely useless thing, muses the Doc
Answering nature's call both efficiently and appropriately while cycling is no mean feat, as the doc discovers
Victoria Pendleton take note: cyclist do NOT dance
The Doc's mate Bernard has gone chase crazy as his competitive spirit has returned in force
There's nothing quite like riding buddies, is there? With friends like these, who needs powermeters?
Cyclist hater Alan Brazil is the perfect man to emulate when it comes to dealing with any type of bike rider you dislike, reckons the Doc
Dr Hutch is away this week. Instead, we bring you this appeal, by a senior member of the British Association of Slightly Batty Right-Wing Newspaper Columnists.
Interval training? Got that horrible burning sensation in your legs? Better check it's not actually because your turbo-trainer has combusted
Those Edam-munching windmill dwellers have got cycle culture sorted - and the lack of gradient is just a happy coincidence
The Doc gets all hot under the collar over a picture of Vicky Pendleton in her special pants