Hutch ponders whether the average cyclist would sell their soul for five minutes of glory. The answer's a no brainer...
Many people are born to be great cyclists, but only the saddest succeed, says the Doc
This week the Doc tries hard to focus on the shortsighted cyclist's predicament and the difficulty of time trialling in glamour glasses
The Doc bemoans the banality of sportive saboteurs then changes tack to suggest more successful strategies
There's no point asking the Doc why he loves cycling, so just don't bother, because he hasn't really got a clue either
New training regimes may promise miracle results but in reality the fitness gains are far more mundane, says the Doc
Hoping to wow a non-cyclist with tales of your riding prowess? Don’t bother, says the Doc, they will not be impressed
Horses. Not only do they cheat their way into our lasagnas and lay steaming hazards on our roads; they dodge taxes and rob donkeys too - according to the Doc
Cycling often hurts, but it isn't physical, reckon scientists, and the Doc agrees: it's a sensation doled out by a guv'nor of grimacing in our heads
It's not fair, ventures the doc, that seamen have their own bespoke weather forecast while we cyclist have to make do with Tomasz Schafernaker's vague prognostications
When it comes to cycle safety provision one local council thought of everything a cyclist might need, reports the Doc. Then they did the opposite
The doc lays bare his bafflement at how everyone else's bikes are so uncomfortably, inanely and, above all, incorrectly set up
The doc is anticipated Oscar-winning performances all round when Lance went head-to-head with Oprah
You really shouldn’t try to teach your grandmother to suck eggs, nor your father to clean bicycles — or you’ll find yourself stumped when it comes to Christmas gift ideas…
The god of mud is displeased - which means that the Doc must sacraficed yet another virgin tubeless tyre...
You've reached the UCI Anti Doping Hotline. While you're waiting for our next available operator, please enjoy this panpipes rendition of The Verve's ‘Drugs don't work'. Hold please...
Thinking about cycling all the time shouldn't make you feel like nerd, says the Doc - at one time it was an essential elemet of training
We must thank the random lunatics who hate cyclists - without them we would all be living in one giant hippy nudist colony
Now that everyone's a proper cyclist, how can you be a Lycra'd lone wolf? Wonders the Doc
As the off-season begins, the Doc breaks open the ampoules of Dairy milk he's been stashing in the back of his fridge