According to the Daily Express, the average speed of a bus in London is 9.2mph - slower than a donkey, which can travel at 10mph

In one of the most bizarre claims of recent times, the Daily Express says it’s quicker to ride a donkey to work in London than take a bus, all because us pesky cyclists want safer roads to ride on.

As part of its crusade – their word, not ours – to get Britain moving, the Express exclusively revealed that the average speed of a bus in the capital was 9.2mph thanks to the ongoing cycling infrastructure improvements.

“London’s commuters could find it quicker riding a donkey to work than getting a bus as cycle works – for the benefit of an elite five per cent who pedal – cause further congestion in the capital’s streets,” the Express sensationally claims in its lead paragraph.

The story then goes on to make the remarkable donkey claim, saying that an ass can travel at 10mph – faster than the average bus.

>>> There’s something oddly brilliant about professional cyclists sitting on a donkey

The key word in that sentence is CAN. A bus can travel at upwards of 30mph – trust me, I’ve seen it happen in London – but stick a donkey in the carbon monoxide-ridden traffic jams around London – which have been there for years, not just since the superhighway work started – and it wouldn’t be keen to trot along at 10mph.

In fact, you’d be lucky to get to your office if you were relying on a donkey, as they might get scared off by all the cars on the road and people honking their horns about the fact that there’s a bloody donkey on the road.

>>> Cab drivers lose High Court challenge over east-west Cycle Superhighway

Understandably, the works to improve the cycling infrastructure in London are causing a few problems for car drivers in the city, but the idea is that at the end of the work more people will be tempted into taking their bicycle to work.

So, in the long run, buses will be able to reach their optimal speeds and cyclists will be able get to work without fear of being run down by a vehicle – or a donkey, for that matter.

  • TrevorHoldsworth

    Yes, the usual flawed reporting from the Express:
    1) An UNLADEN donkey can trot along nicely at 9mph
    2) A laden donkey walks at 3.5 mph, like you or I
    3) You shouldn’t put more than 8 stones weight on a donkey or you’ll have the RSPCA after you.
    4) This weight limitation means that the Express presumes the City workers to be anorexic or child slaves.
    Conclusion: The Express is writing for an audience of gullible idiots – but hey, we knew that anyway.

  • Pee Bee

    Would you have pay the emissions charge for a donkey? I assume their production of lethal gases is on a par with cows, the latter having had a bad press in that respect.

  • Pee Bee

    Along with JC.

  • racyrich

    Wow. So if I ditch my £2500 season ticket and cycle in on my 20 year old work bike instead I join ‘the elite’!

  • The words ‘Daily Express’ and ‘donkey’ seem to go well together. Muppets also comes to mind with Express readers and ‘journalists’.

  • Anthony Jackson

    Ha, the elite 5%’of those that travel by bike…. pretty sure the same thing was said about Tarmac roads and ‘motorvehicles’ when they were laid over 100 years ago, apparently that caught on…. Its just a guess, but maybe it will encourage people to commute differently.

    Its typical of Modern Britain to worry about now rather than worry for the coming future…

    I live in Nottinghamshire and I commute 2-3 times per week to work via bike or by car, and working at home perhaps 1-2days. My commute is 20miles. Despite living in the countryside, my car journey is often only 10-15mins quicker than bike (out of 1hr or more of commuting)……Once you get near Nottingham city you can kiss goodbye to any time gained by your car…… Im pretty sure if I properly nailed it on the bike through the country lanes I’d always be quicker by bike.

    London seems to think of itself as different to the rest of the country. Its not. I think complainants like this seem to think commuting by bike is everyday….. The last 2 days in the Uk have been sunny and a bit chilly, perfect commuting by bike weather….. Some people forget they have a choice.

  • Ed

    lololol the “5%” figure is from the 2011 census. so pre-cycling boom then…
    awful journalism

  • Andrew Bairsto

    The DE is the same as the DM both never let the facts get in way of a non news story.