One man’s culinary journey at Le Tour.

Words: Lionel Birnie The Tour de France is about much more than the cycling. The event shows off the best the country has to offer – the countryside, the châteaux and, of course, its food and wine. So, this year, I shall document each day’s meals, from Liège to Paris, from petit déjeuner to dîner. Welcome to Le Gourmet de France. Scroll down to see the journey unfold.

How the categories work Hors categorie – outstanding, perhaps not quite Michelin star standard but as good as you’ll get on the Tour 1st category – a very good meal, enough to let out a deeply satisfied ‘aaaah’ 2nd category – good stuff 3rd category – filled a gap adequately enough but lacking that je ne sais quoi 4th category – better than missing a meal, but not by much Intermediate sprint – Er, let’s hope it doesn’t cause an intermediate sprint to the toilet in the night

And so, that brings our Gourmet de France journey to an end. We experienced the good, the bad and the downright ugly that France has to offer but when it comes to the Tour, you have days when you’d be able to sleep upside down in a dustbin if that was the only option.

There were no missed dinners. We didn’t even have to eat petrol station sandwiches for lunch too often. The press room buffets ranged from Sky to Argos-Shimano and everything in between.

To the prizes, then. The maillot jaune for best hotel goes to the Château de Hodbomont in Theux near Liège. We were fortunate enough to spend five nights there are the start of the Tour. That was closely followed by the Auberge de Haut Chenas.

The polka-dot knife and fork for finest meal goes to the hors categorie Clos de la Prairie in Gouy St André.

There were some stinkers too, but you’ll have to scroll to the bottom to see our journey unfolded.

***

Sunday 22nd: Parisian pavement café (lunch)

Having spent two weeks craving a simple omelette and chips, nothing was going to stop me on the final day of the Tour. Unfortunately it was not a good example. A great omelette should be gooey in the middle and cheesy. This was bland, dry and came at a Parisian premium price.

Rating: 4th category

***

Hotel No.18
Brit Hotel, Epernon

What time's lock up?

Our final hotel of the Tour was the aptly-named Brit Hotel in Epernon. Although the arrangement of the floors and bedrooms around an open central area made it look like HM Slade prison fitted out by Ikea, it was actually a perfectly decent place to spend the night.

***

Saturday 21st: Hotel Novotel, Chartres

After the time trial, we had a late dinner at the Novotel. After a tomato and mozzarella salad came a piece of duck that was nicely cooked but, on reflection, was probably not the thing to eat at 10.30pm.

***

Hotel No.17
Ibis, Lucé

Our penultimate hotel of the Tour was an Ibis. To be fair, we did well to get through the whole thing with only one Campanile and one Ibis. Chain hotels really do take their toll. One year I spent a week travelling from Ibis to Ibis and by the end of it, I had memorised the play list that pipes out into reception and I was more familiar than is healthy with the array of things they provide for breakfast.

Saxo Bank were staying there too. When I checked in I was given a smoking room, which really was not pleasant. I managed to swap and can only hope they didn’t put one of the riders in there instead.

***

Friday 20th: La Vielle Maison, Chartres

We stayed in Chartres last October when we travelled over to interview newly-crowned world champion Mark Cavendish for this feature: Cavendish: Centre of attention. After persuading him to pose for a potentially hazardous photoshoot, we lucked out by stumbling across a terrific little restaurant in the centre of town.

Ed was particularly keen to go back, so we did and we were rewarded with a meal that pushes into contention for best of the Tour. It was certainly hors categorie but we’re not convinced it was better than the Clos de la Prairie in week one.

Beef salad. Lovely.

Fish from the market.

Chocolate fondant with custard squiggle.

After three delicious courses, all was going swimmingly until we decided to opt for a digestif – in this case a Calvados. It came in a fish bowl.

Hors categorie calvados. Sunglasses included for scale.

Rating: hors categorie

***

Hotel No.16
Hotel de France, Toulouse

Decent enough for a night, although a nightmare to get to because of a one-way system the sat-nav did not recognise. Very warm rooms, noisy street in bustling quarter of town but so tired neither mattered.


***

Thursday 19th: Restaurant Emile, Toulouse (dinner)

At last, Cassoulet Night. It was a fraught drive through the one-way system in Toulouse, and a late dinner (past 10pm, which is pushing it if you want to avoid cassoulet-related sleep issues) but Restaurant Emile served us a fine example of the region’s speciality, washed down with a hearty red. It’s amazing that a deep, rich red wine can feel almost refreshing when paired with the salty combination of Toulouse sausage, pork, duck and beans in garlicky sauce.

Rating: 1st category

Cassoulet. The queen stage of the Tour.

***

Hotel No. 15
Royal Hotel, Bagnères-de-Luchon

We feared the worst, partly because the Royal Hotel did not have a website. What we got was one of the most pleasing hotels of the Tour and, almost certainly, the best value place. The Royal Hotel was quite old-fashioned – like places in English seaside towns that have seen better days but have at least held on to their dignity and pride. The couple running it were quite elderly but we have not encountered nicer people all Tour. They were incredibly friendly.

The room was quite basic, but it was spotless and looked out over the charming square in Luchon. There was the other bonus that the start village for stage 17 was right outside the door.

When it came to pay, it felt almost criminal to give them only €47 for bed and breakfast. It’s on our list the next time the Tour is in Luchon.

***

Wednesday 18th: Les Caprices d’Etigny, Luchon (dinner)

We were having a beer with Eurosport’s commentary team Dave Harmon and Sean Kelly when Phil Griffiths bowled over and invited everyone within earshot to dinner. Griffiths was one of the ANC-Halfords team managers when they rode the Tour in 1987. These days he imports Pinarello bikes (which probably accounts for the permanent smile). He also owns an appartment in Luchon, overlooking the lovely town square and the thermal spa, flanked by stunning mountains. We were very grateful for his invitation and had a fine evening. Among the other diners were Malcolm Elliott, Adrian Timmis and Graham Jones, with the BBC Five Live commentary team.

Starter: Cheese salad.

Pork, jacket potato, ratatouille.

Rating: 2nd category.

***

Tuesday 17th: Some anonymous restaurant in Pau

It was getting late when we arrived at the restaurant for dinner. Avoiding anything too heavy, I went for the tuna carpaccio with pea and broad bean salad inside. It was fresh enough and reasonably tasty but it took a long time to arrive.

Rating: 3rd category.

Tuna surprise.

Those green things are vegetables.

***

Tuesday 17th: Garmin burrito party (lunch)

We can’t let the Gourmet de France pass without mentioning Garmin’s burrito and margarita party. The burritos were excellent – just what the doctor ordered after a fortnight or so eating stuff cooked in goose and duck fat. Packed with chicken, rice, beans and guacamole, they were a real treat.

What was amusing was that as everyone chatted and mingled at the burrito party, the Sky press conference was being set up next door. Four rows of chairs placed in the scorching sunshine for journalists – it reminded me of a French Foreign Legion endurance test.

You say chipotle, I say chip-ot-lay.

***

Monday 16th: Hotel de France (Moorlàas)

Monsieur’s eccentricities extended to his catering. Having scoped out the village for an alternative, we reluctantly settled for eating in the hotel’s bar, which was a bit grubby. The cutlery handles were peeling, which was off-putting too. But fair play to monsieur, he served with a joke and smile.

The starter was basically A Plate of Things. A slice of quiche, a huge hunk of salami, some ham, vegetrables and salad and a pack of butter plonked on the top. Presumably this was to go on the bread, rather than a strange garnish.

Lucky dip.

The main course was pitched as volaille et frites, which monsieur translated as ‘bird and chips’. What we got was some kind of chicken slab with chips. It filled a gap.

Rating: 4th category. Just about avoiding an intermediate sprint to the toilet.

***

Hotel No.14
Hotel de France, Morlàas

How can I put this? Morlàas, far from being a pretty, vibrant little village a short drive from Pau was, as described by one of our party, the Village of the Damned. Arriving late in the evening, nothing was open. Some kids were hanging out in the town square revving the engines on a couple of mopeds. Most of the shops looked as if they’d closed down. There was not even a restaurant.

Our hotel was owned by an eccentric fella who appeared to have settled for his lot sometime in the mid-1980s. He was very friendly but his hotel was badly in the need of a clean and refurb. The toilet bowl in my room filled up to the brim with each flush, which made me do an involuntarily panicked leap backwards in case it flowed over.

Most French hotels have finally ditched the uncomfortable sausage-shaped bolster in favour of pillows, but not this place.

The place even had a Hammer House of Horror creaking-door sound effect.

***

Hotel No.13
Hotel La Tour de Loup, La Bastide-de-Sérou

After the disappointment of missing out on cassoulet, we needed a decent hotel.

We were, once again, disappointed.

Here’s the thing: You book online, giving your credit card details. You arrive at 11pm, pretty keen to check in quickly and get some shut-eye.

So why, in those circumstances, does madame and monsieur insist on going through the whole rigamarole of taking payment there and then, delaying bed time by 20 irritating minutes?

Maybe they thought we were going to do a runner, but even if we did, they could contact the booking agency we made the reservation with and recover all their money. I just don’t get it. The customer comes second.

Anyway, it was a pretty basic hotel, although the bedroom was decent enough. It seemed like it was delivered on a lorry from an out-of-town furniture warehouse.

Breakfast was a let-down. The coffee was cold and this deep into the Tour, a cold cup of coffee really can get the day off to a rubbish start.

***

Sunday 15th: Foix (dinner)

Disaster struck. The Best Cassoulet Restaurant in Foix no longer does cassoulet.

We found this out as we sat down on Sunday night. My eyes scanned the menu in panic. I thought there must’ve been a mistake. No, it’s definitely not there. Perhaps it will be on the specials board? No.

Missing out on cassoulet in Foix is a bit like waiting for the big mountain stage and then finding all the cols have been closed by freak weather. It’s just not the same.

So, we chose the trio des viandes – three meats, steak, sausage and veal. But there were no beans, no duck or goose.

Meat, meat and more meat.

After all that meat, I had a taste for something sweet. Egged on by the waiter, Ed and I ordered the choux XXL, which turned out to be a lump of rich vanilla ice cream the size of Samuel Dumoulin’s head, topped with a choux pastry bun, a rich chocolate sauce and almonds. We were told only four people have ever finished two of them. I failed to complete even one, although Ed was successful. Whether he enjoyed the twisty drive to the hotel after dinner is up for debate.

The Tourmalet of ice creams. Beer bottle is included for scale.

Rating: 2nd category. Not quite good enough to overcome the cassoulet disappointment. Still, there’s always Toulouse.

Saturday 14th: Hotel Résidence, Nissan-lez-Enserune (dinner)

Carpaccio de boeuf. Raw beef, thinly sliced.

The restaurant at the hotel was terrific. Ed and Richard put shirts with collars on specially and pointed out that I was the scruffiest person by quite some way, which was nice of them.

The starter was carpaccio of beef with little dots of foie gras sprinkled over the top.

What could it be?

Ta-daaaa!

We all chose the fillets of red mullet for the main course until Monsieur returned to say there were only two portions left.

So, being the Richie Porte to Ed and Richard’s Wiggins and Froome, I stepped down and looked at the menu again, opting for the pork cutlet.

I was rewarded with a theatrical dish that was presented and then dramatically revealed. The pork had been slow roasted and then placed on the plate with a pot of burning rosemary, then covered so that the smokey aroma infused everything.

The picture probably doesn’t convey how delicious it was.

Rating: 1st category. The second-best meal of the Tour so far came just as we are about to enter cassoulet region.

***

Hotel No. 12
Hotel Résidence, Nissan-lez-Enserune

Nissan-lez-Enserune is an attractive little village with very narrow streets and, because it was Bastille Day, it had a bustling character. The hotel, part of the Logis de France organisation combined the charm of an old building with great modern rooms. A real gem.

***

Friday 13th: Restaurant Jean Jaures, Bourg-les-Valence

Time was ticking on, we knew we weren’t going to reach our hotel in time for dinner, so we stopped on route. Remind me not to go to Bourg-les-Valence again. It wasn’t as bad as Lure where we stayed a week ago – that really did resemble an economic downturn theme park – but it wasn’t much better. However, we were grateful to find a restaurant open at such a late hour. Madame was very friendly although she steered us into having a chicken and mushroom stewy-type-thing with rice and ratatouille rather than allowing us to pick from the menu. Far enough, it was late. The downside was that there was a very large gentleman sitting at the bar who was showing enough bum crack for an entire building site. It wasn’t pleasant.

Chicken and mushroom. Filled a gap.

Rating: 4th category.

***

Hotel No.11
Le Puy de Sirenes, Puygiron

The Friday night before Bastille Day and half of France is driving south. We left Annonay after the stage finish and got stuck in a big traffic jam, then another big traffic jam. All three lanes of the autoroute were clogged at 10.45pm. We arrived at our hotel in the charming village of Puygiron, not far from Montelimar (nougat country, for those who like nougat) at 11.30pm. We had to get up before 7am the next morning to get on the road because the Tour organisers recommended all Tour traffic drive on the route, ahead of the publicity caravan, to avoid more jams on the motorways.

So, the hotel was perfectly acceptable although but as we left a good hour before they started serving breakfast we didn’t exactly make the most of it. Ed drew the short straw and slept on a blow-up mattress because we only had two rooms between three and you have to draw the line somewhere.

***

Thursday 12th: Les Ailles (dinner)

Your eggs are ready

The starter was eggs, with mayonnaise, which in anyone’s language is eggs served with egg sauce. I was impressed with how they cut the eggs but couldn’t help thinking it needed a bit more greenery.

Whoops. It's nearly all gone.

To celebrate the latest news from USADA, I opted for the Jambon Tex-Mex, which featured well-done ham. I forgot to photograph it until I’d nearly finished, so here’s what I had for lunch to compensate – pork fillet with tinned peas and carrots. It was nicer than it sounds.

A rare foray into the sweet world of desserts: I went for the chocolate mousse, which I photographed to the right of the frame like what a proper photographer would do, to make it look better than it was.

***

Wednesday 11th: Les Ailles (dinner)

When in the Alps, whatever you eat is slathered in melted Savoyarde cheese. It’s the law. I opted for the local speciality, which was basically melted cheese, potatoes and pieces of ham on toasted bread, like a big cheese pizza. Did I mention the cheese? Ed reckons he had cheese dreams, which made me glad I was on the top bunk (see below).

Cheesy.

***

Hotel No.10
Les Ailles, Challes-les-Eaux

If you ignore the fact that our hotel was on a busy main road between Chambéry and Challes-les-Eaux it was a very decent base for a couple of nights. The mountainous backdrop made up for the fact the car park was a building site and the road was noisy. The people who ran it was so friendly, which goes a long way to make up for any down sides. Three of us had to share one large room, so I made sure I bagged the top bunk and put my ear plugs in. I won’t say which one of them was snoring.

***

Tuesday 10th: Auberge du Haut Chénas again

Coq au vin. Chicken in wine, basically.

Our second night at the auberge meant I had to go for the coq au vin. The other options didn’t excite me. Andouillette of any description gives me the shivvers. It’s basically a pungent sausage with the texture of rubber bands packed tightly inside a verruca sock, not that I’ve eaten rubber bands in a verruca sock. The fish stew was made with river fish, which I don’t particularly like. Fortunately, in this region they just love cooking their meats in wine. So I went for the chicken in wine. The picture doesn’t do it justice. The sauce was delicious, although they looked at me strangely when I asked if they served it in pints.

Wine. Lovely wine.

We were also treated to a dégustation – a wine tasting – from the wines made in the village. The improved in quality from right to left. The favourite was the fifth from the right, the Chénas Séléne 2009 we’d had the previous evening.

Category: 1st category again. Great consistency from the auberge. And consistency is what wins you Grand Gourmet Tours.

***

Monday 9th: Auberge du Haut Chénas

Boeuf Bourguignon. Beef in wine, basically.

Madame at the hotel agreed to keep the kitchen open so we could have a meal after the drive from Besançon, which was fortunate because otherwise we’d have been eating L’Equipe. The menu only had the choice of four starters, mains and a couple of desserts but in my experience that’s often a good thing. I went for beef bourguignon. The local wine, Chénas Séléne 2009 was excellent.

Category: 1st category. Great regional cookery.

***

Hotel No.9
Auberge du Haut Chénas

Our rest day refuge was a little spot on the hill above Chénas, right in the middle of beaujolais country. For miles around all you can see are vineyards. The auberge was a lovely little place too.

One of the five rooms at the Auberge de Haut Chénas.

A room with a view.

***

Sunday 8th: Le Grill du Trappeur, Besançon (dinner)

Having arrived late at our lodgings, the BB Hotel on the outskirts of town, we were relieved to find that after an Alan Partridge-style walk across the dual carriageway, Le Grill du Trappeur was still serving dinner.

Sadly, there’s no photo of the BB Hotel but if you’ve ever built a house out of Lego you’ll have a good idea of what it looked like. Compared to the previous evening, it felt like the Ritz.

With the mountains on the horizon it seemed like an appropriate time to dive into tartiflette, a rich pot of layered potato and strong Morbier cheese accompanied by an array of cold meats.

Have you ever had a tartiflette-induced headache? I have.

Rating: 4th category. Bog-standard and quite greasy. I was also very suspicious it was left sitting around and then blasted in the microwave because there was the odd disconcertingly cold spot. Mind you, they served us at 9.45pm so that was something.

***

Saturday 7th: Le Sirocca, Lure (dinner)

There was not an abundance of smart-looking eateries in Lure. There was a bar called Bar Le Relax where a ZZ Top video was playing on a big screen and a group of men who looked like ZZ Top fans were drinking outside.

We eventually settled on Le Sirocca, a Moroccan place and ordered the cous-cous with various meats – chicken, lamb and merguez sausage with a pot of vegetables. It was pretty decent but my mood was hampered by the thought of spending the night sleeping inside a Benson & Hedges packet (see below).

Cous-cous. Meat sold separately.

***

Hotel No.7 La Luron, Lure

Lure. Not alluring.

First the positives. The hotel was in Lure, a very short drive from the press room. There’s not a glut of rooms in the area so Ed did well to find anywhere. I drew the shortest straw because I had a smoking room. The giveaways were the fact the window was wide open, the curtains were a yellowish brown. Oh, and the smell. It was like walking into a working men’s club in 1984. As I’ve said before, the definition of a non-smoking room in France is that there’s not someone smoking in there at the moment.It was not pretty. There were cigarette burns in the sink. I slept with the window wide open, which meant I was woken at 5.30 when heavy rain blew in and gave me a little shower. Still, on the upside, everyone else’s rooms were fine so, as Dave Brailsford would say, it’s only one night, we take the positives and we move on. To give you an indication of the decor, here’s what’s on the wall in the breakfast room. I had to stifle a scream.

"Only one croissant per customer.. I'm watching you."

I forgot to take a photo of Hotel No.6 which was Les Messines in Metz. It was a perfectly adequate appartment-style place. No frills and right next to a disco but other than that, fine.

***

Friday 6th: Restaurant Tarterie, Metz (dinner)

Gazpacho.

It was a warm evening in Metz and after a short trip into the town’s main square, gazpacho leapt off the menu because it suggested it would be cool and refreshing. The soup wasn’t bad but the fresh tomato edge was taken off by the inclusion of rich goat’s cheese.

Sauerkraut and meat. Refreshing.

I’m still not sure what possessed me to go for the choucroute maison, other than that it’s one of eastern France’s regional dishes – and the fact that Ed had ordered it. The sauerkraut was very vinegary and the meat was dense. There was also a lot of it and I barely dented it. There must’ve been enough salt on that plate for a week. Rating: 3rd category. Not a bad restaurant, just poor selection.

***

Thursday 5th: Hotel du Golf d’Ailette (dinner)

Starter for thon: Tartare of tuna

Rack 'em up: Carre d'agneau.

The food at the hotel was very good. After a raw tuna steak chopped up and served with a punchy wasabi sauce came a rack of lamb. It’s been a worryingly consistent run of decent food (with one or two notable exceptions). With the mountains looming, things are about to get a lot more cheesy. Rating: 1st category

Hotel No.5 Hotel du Golf l’Ailette, Chamouille

Our hotel was nestled in the Picardie countryside, next to a large lake and flanked by a golf course. We didn’t have time for a quick nine holes and it was a bit drizzly but the view was nice to wake up to.

A room with a view. Lac d'Ailette.

***

Wednesday 4th: Domaine St Paul (dinner)

Deep-fried Camembert on toast.

The meal at the Domaine St Paul was a bit of a let-down considering how pleasant the hotel was. The vinaigrette on the deep-fried Camembert was basically just vinegar.

Duck, but not as we know it.

The local specialty, duck fricassée was most peculiar. The meat itself was okay but the thick, brown sauce was oleaginous. The menu suggested dauphinoise potatoes but what we got was more like a McDonald’s hash brown. And the broccoli was so soft it dissolved on contact with cutlery.

Cheese. Clockwise from top left: Neufchâtel, Pont l'Eveque, chevre and Livarot.

The cheese course was very good, with the Livarot (the orangey one in the picture) pleasingly pungent.

Tarte aux pommes. Followed by calvados. Twice.

***

Hotel No.4 Domaine St Paul, Lyons-la-Foret

Tucked away to the south-east of Rouen near Lyons-la-Foret was our country hideaway for the night. It actually happened to be on the route of stage five. The buildings and grounds were truly spectacular. The rooms themselves did not quite live up to the exterior grandeur. They were a little basic and old-fashioned but neat and tidy enough and very reasonably priced at €75.

The view as we pulled into the driveway at the hotel.

The reception and restaurant.

The rooms were in a building with a country cottage feel.

***

Wednesday 4th: Le Close de la Prairie, Gouy St André

Another excellent breakfast, soaring above the typical croissant/pain au chocolat fare with fresh fruit compote, strawberries and peach on skewers, a freshly fried egg with ham and great coffee.

Breakfast fit for a king

An egg, yesterday. Also pictured, ham.

Tuesday 3rd: Le Clos de la Prairie, Gouy St André

We were treated to by far the best meal of the Tour so far, our first that qualifies for hors categorie.

Amuse bouche. Very amused, I must say

Crab topped with herbs, with a citrus sorbet

Turbot, puréed parsnip, salsify, artichoke

Chocolate mousse

Rating: hors categorie.

***

Hotel No.3 Le Clos de La Prairie, Gouy St André

Le Clos de la Prairie

Around halfway between Boulogne-sur-Mer and Abbeville is Gouy St André, a little hamlet in the countryside. The hotel is a gem, with bags of character in the older part and a brand new wing where the bedrooms are. It feels like we’re the first guests to stay here it’s that new. My neighbour was a horse, who lives in the field adjacent to the room.

***

Tuesday 3rd: Campanile, Douai (breakfast)

Standard fare.

Breakfast at the Campanile was pretty typical of most French hotels. But they earn the brown jersey for worst coffee. It was completely undrinkable. Richard wondered whether it even was coffee.

***

Monday 2nd: Campanile, Douai (dinner)

Richard Moore and I left the Château de Hodbomont with a heavy heart and even heavier stomachs after a final fine breakfast. The scrambled eggs, rich, buttery and covered in herbs, were a particular highlight, as was the fresh fruit, the yoghurt, the home-made quince and ginger paste and the excellent coffee.

Lunch was a chicken andalousia sandwich from the motorway services. The andalousia bit presumably referred to the mildly spicy orange sauce the small pieces of chicken were in. I was thankful for it later because by the time we reached the press room in Tournai, the journalists had rampaged through the buffet like a plague of locusts.

And so to dinner at the Campanile hotel, where we were joined by Edward Pickering. The starter was a buffet but it turns out that the members of the Tour’s publicity caravan, who were also staying at the Campanile, can demolish a buffet just as well as the press room dwellers.

Starter. Things from the buffet.

The starter was adequate enough although all that was left of the salad was a few straggly leaves.

"Porc" and chips.

The main course was billed as filet mignon de porc but it had a very strange texture, almost like a firm paté, which was disconcerting. Ed went for salmon with pasta. The white tubes were pale and without any sauce. They looked as if they’d been cooked in lukewarm washing up water. They also lost marks for trying to convince Ed that the most expensive red wine on the menu would definitely go with his fish.

Cheese in balsamic vinegar.

What has happened to France? We ordered the cheese course and were presented with three chunks of cold cheese straight from the fridge. Ten years ago, this would have been grounds to close down the hotel chain and sack everyone who so much as attempted to defend the serving of cold cheese. Even unremarkable cheese can be improved if it is served at room temperature, so it can come to life a bit. Rating: 4th category. It wasn’t inedible it was just joyless. Bean counters at the head office of Campanile’s holding company seem to have decided that this is the most convenient and profitable way to feed their guests.

***

Hotel No.2 Campanile, Douai

The Campanile at Douai. Douai not like that.

Anything would be a comedown after the sumptuous Château de Hodbomont, where the Prosecco was on ice and the owners’ dogs ran carefree through the grounds. Our second hotel of the Tour brought us crashing down to earth. It’s a Campanile on a trading estate on the outskirts of Douai. Our neighbours are an Aldi supermarket and a roundabout. It’s more of an American-style motel, with the rooms opening directly onto an outdoor gangway or, if you’re unlucky, onto the hard shoulder of the dual carriageway.

***

Sunday 1st: Il Piatto d’Oro, Tilff (dinner)

We settled on Il Piatto d’Oro, a little restaurant near the church after a grumpy maitre d’ at the posh-looking place on the square said he could not possibly seat five of us (despite the fact he had at least half a dozen empty tables).

The sign outside Il Piatto d’Oro said it specialised in Italian and French cuisine. Inside was small but quite smart. However, the atmosphere was ruined by the fact the Italy v Spain Euro 2012 football final was on a large television and the sound was on loud, making conversation difficult.

There was an excitable bald chap in an Italian football shirt behind us, which made us, in our press room fatigues, feel overdressed. He was quite noisy and kept turning the volume on the TV up. It took me a while to realise this was the owner, which is probably why he hadn’t been asked to leave.

What was amusing was that one of his waiters – who perhaps could have been his son – was wearing a Spain shirt, clearly to wind up the owner/his dad.

It was nicer than it looks. Brown sauces never photograph well.

The starter was scallops and prawns feuilleté – which basically means ‘layered’ – because it had a pastry top and bottom. After that disaster almost struck. I  forgot to photograph the main course of cod in a cream and leek sauce until I was halfway through.

Whoops. Nearly. This is half of a cod fillet in a creamy sauce

Rating: 2nd category, because the cod was particularly nice. However, we’ve realised that expectations may be a little high, so the jury has decided to retrospectively upgrade Sunday’s lamb dish to a 1st category.

***

Saturday 30th: Taverne La Chawresse, Tilff (dinner)

It was gone eight by the time we got on the road to search for a restaurant. We dithered about a bit before heading to Tilff, which boasted a bustling square flanked by bars and restaurants. Unfortunately, they were all full. After a couple of laps of the square, we were almost resigned to eating in the café at a bowling alley (which might have been fun). We tried our luck at a Moroccan restaurant and were told there was a table inside. Time was rattling on, so we skipped starters. After a long wait – almost 40 minutes – our meals arrived, earning monsieur the lanterne rouge for slowest service.

Can you tell what it is yet?

Ta-daaaa! Chicken and vegetable tajine

***

Saturday 30th: Liège Country Hall, press room (lunch)

Meatball in gravy.

The race got underway, so it was fitting that lunch would be a little local delicacy called boulet de Liège. Now, to the untrained eye it may look like one large meatball in sweet gravy placed into a small plastic carton. It looks that way because that’s exactly what it was.

***

Friday 29th: Hotel Van der Valk, Verviers (dinner)

Does cress go with lamb?

The Van der Valk’s kitchen seemed to be turning out an impressive array of plates, so we opted to stay for dinner. I chose the lamb fillet, which was soft and cooked perfectly. The Dauphinoise potato was rich and buttery and the vegetables still had some bite. I’d question the decision to put a clump of cress in the gravy but seeing as it has vitamins and minerals in it, I shan’t complain. Rating: 2nd category, upgraded retrospectively to 1st – the best meal of the Tour so far.

Friday 29th: Hotel Van der Valk, Verviers (lunch)

That coloured stuff is called salad.

We had lunch at the Hotel Van der Valk in Verviers, which is the very pleasant base for Team Sky during the opening weekend. The campagnarde salad was off the menu, presumably because they were out of campagnarde, so I opted for the Salad Brest, which made Richard snigger. [For the record, Richard says he sniggered at something else]. Bread-crumbed chicken and a very fresh, crunchy salad arrived. Every year I make a mental note to eat green things as often as possible because at some point we’ll hit the Alps (fondue and tartiflette) and the Pyrenees (cassoulet).

*** Thursday 28th: Chez Dimitri, Liège (dinner)

Richard Moore, who is writing for Cycle Sport this year, has arrived and after the team presentation we went for dinner with the Cycling Weekly team. As you do when you’re in Belgium, we headed to the finest, perhaps the only, Greek restaurant in Liège. The owner was a flamboyant fellow called Dimitri, a sort of Greek-Belgian version of Gok Wan with a Russian name. He insisted we sat outside, chortled at our colleague Simon Richardson’s request to have tomatoes with his feta cheese starter, then wished us a happy and successful Tour. He also predicted rain for the prologue.

The starter was shrimp croquettes.

Mousaka and more chips.

Rating: 3rd category. However, Monsieur Dimitri holds the yellow jersey for friendliest host.

*** Thursday 28th: Liège Country Hall press room (lunch)

"Onions and ketchup, mate?"

Lunch in the Tour de France press room was this €3 merguez hot dog in a baguette. Monsieur le vendor insisted on doing the ketchup, which I feel ought to be left to the customer, and he overdid it. The sausage was actually quite a decent merguez.

Thursday 28th: Château de Hodbomont (breakfast)

Jams presented in Champagne glasses? Don't mind if I do.

Chain hotels are winning the battle when it comes to the great issue of how breakfast should be served. Watered down orange juice in thimbles, brown sludge dispensed from a machine and labelled ‘coffee’ and a hot plate with eggs scrambled until they congeal into a sixth element is becoming the norm. The Château de Hodbomont’s spread was the polar opposite. It was superb – an hors categorie breakfast. Freshly-squeezed OJ, a plate of fresh fruit (out of shot), an espresso cup of strawberry yoghurt, meats and cheeses, and jams in Champagne glasses.

***

Wednesday 27th: Le Beaubourg, Theux

Knuckle of pork. Packed a punch.

Having spent most of the day in the car, lunch was sandwiches from the service station. It never hurts to set the bar low on day one.

Arriving in Belgium at the Château de Hodbomont (see below), I was slightly disappointed to find the closest restaurant was in nearby village. I headed out early and went to the least formal of the places recommended by the hotel’s owners.

Confronted with a menu of steaks, steaks and steaks, I searched for something lighter. Turning the page I found a list of pasta dishes that didn’t really appeal.

It always takes me a day or two to bring my dictionary of ‘menu French’ to the fore, so I slightly mis-translated when reading the grillades section.

I thought le jambonneau à la moutarde ancienne would be a gammon steak in a mustard sauce. It was only after I’d ordered that the correct translation came to me and I realised I’d opted for dense, protein-y knuckle of pork, which I didn’t really fancy at all. It was too late to change my mind so I got stuck in with all the vigour of a bare-knuckle boxer.

It was a little bit fatty round the edges and the mustard sauce was basically just mustard and cream, which made it rich to the point of sickly. However, once I’d identified the good bits of meat and scraped off the excess sauce, it was quite pleasant.

Rating: 3rd category

***

Hotel No.1 Château de Hodbomont, Theux

Our hotel for the opening weekend is the charming Château de Hodbomont, tucked away in the woods near Theux, around 25 kilometres from Liège. For the price of a city centre chain hotel, such as the dreaded Ibis, we’ve got a place with bags of character and very friendly owners. The welcome was exquisite. When I opened the door to my room, soothing classical music was playing on a little CD player.

Apparently, a group of savvy French journalists always stay here for the week when the Formula One circus visits Spa Francorchamps.

Your room overlooks the grounds, sir

Ring the bell if your pillows need fluffing

 

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  • TBooker

    I love your blog.